Spies don’t sleep. They wait.
What’s cracking spyverse?
Make sure you get enough sleep to recover from your amazing training and mission.
Goodluck with sleeping, grasshoppers. Stay awesome.
Spies need food too.
Need breakfast on the run because you’re running from enemy spies? No worries!
One cup of instant unsweetened, unflavoured oats (true Asian spies don’t need flavour), half a cup of milk microwave for one minute and stir. A quick healthy breakfast. If you need a little extra, chop some banana and /or strawberries and add it to the mix.
(for a truly Asian spy experience, substitute oats with rice and milk with water and chicken stock, boil at your Aunty’s house overnight and enjoy with broiled chicken feet and chilli. Drink tea and play mahjhong all day)
What about your enemy spies? If you were a true Creepyasianspy you would be chasing them with your comically large nunchukus.
Good luck grasshoppers. Always give the best price.
Spy Gear - The Sunglasses
Howdy doody,
The one and only. Rayban Wayfarers. Can make you blend in and look awesome. More awesome than fried rice and soy SAWSE!
Stay awesome Grasshoppers.
Rest day today.
If you need to, take a rest from exercise today.
(or pirate a movie and distribute the files to your uncle’s factory in Shanghai to make millions of dosh)
Goodluck grasshoppers. Don’t get soggy.
Gnarly ninja skills - of course #creepyasianspies can backflip
Welcome Grasshoppers,
So you wish to do a back flip? Well first you must have patience. You must develop strength in your whole body. Here is the way we create strength all over.
What you need:
A barbell with a weight that you are comfortable with using throughout the whole workout.
OR
bag full of heavy things.
What to do:
(as always instructions in brackets are optional, but will enhance your asianess and spy-cool)
6x Deadlift
Squat in front of your barbell or weight. Grab bar or bag and stand up keeping your back straight.
(Snap bar in two and begin eating your noodles with your delightful new oversized chopsticks)
6x Power clean
Squat in front of the bar or bag. Keep your back straight, push your legs with lots of force and shrug your shoulders. Force your elbows forward and let the bar sit on top of your hands.
(throw bar into the air, wait for it to fall in front of you. Before it hits the ground, kick bar/bag into the wall in front of you. There will be a wall for dramatic effect. Don’t question this fact)
6x Overhead squat
Lift weight over your head. Squat down.
(do this whilst calculating pi to 27 decimal places to make your parents proud)
Good luck grass hoppers. Remember only true #creepyasianspies can accomplish the instructions in the brackets. Stay shaky.
Touching people-essential massage gear. Can be used as a fomentation medium (heat therapy). So you can be up to 110% (because Asian parents expect nothing less) for your next Kung Fu battle. True creepyasianspies use it as a weapon and lip balm.
Gnarly ninja skills - how to be as fit as a fireman. An Asian fireman.
Fireman workout. Instructions in brackets are optional. But only a true Creepyasianspy can accomplish these feats of spydom.
What you’ll need:
A duffle bag full of heavy things.
What to do:
BAG CARRY AND RUN
Deadlift bag and place on shoulder. Tense your abs to protect your spine. Use your legs more than your back. Run 10 metres. Lunge down to place bag on floor. (blow out fire with your amazing lungs optional)
BAG PUSH PRESS
Deadlift bag and push above your head. (throw bag into air slice in half with your large sword)
SQUAT JUMP
Squat down and jump upwards. (back flip high kick optional)
DEADLIFT HIGHPULL
Deadlift and pull bag up to the shoulder. (cartwheel whilst deadlifting)
SKIPPING
Skip 25 times in 20 seconds (skip 10000000 times in 20 seconds)
Good luck grass hoppers. Stay crunchy.
Gnarly ninja skills - 01
To be a true creepyasianspy you need to be fit. Do this workout 3 times a week and it will help.
5 push ups
5 sit ups
5 jump squats
On the minute, every minute for 20 minutes.
It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s a start.
Good luck Grass Hopper. May the sauce be with you.
Evolution…oh that’s deep!
Ah hoy hoy!
I’ve made a few changes. Drastic changes. This blog is being modified for purposes of Asian training. You will now be trained in the art of:
Spy Spots - locations of places to hang out and spy.
Spy Gear - How to dress for every occasion and be awesome.
Gnarly Ninja skills - How to be fit enough to be more Kung Fu.
Tunes - Music is very important…I’ll leave it at that.
Enjoy! Now do a 1000 push ups!
OMG Chocolate is amazing? I can’t stop!
How are you amazingly attractive people?
A client asked me today how to stop cravings for chocolate. I have just the tip.
Try putting a small piece of 75% cocoa (or higher) dark chocolate under your tongue. Let it melt without sucking or chewing it. Take your time. Around 2-3 minutes. It should help stop your cravings without destroying your amazing physique.
Give it a go!
