Adventures of the #creepyasianspy

What’s cracking spyverse?

Make sure you get enough sleep to recover from your amazing training and mission.

Goodluck with sleeping, grasshoppers. Stay awesome.

Need breakfast on the run because you’re running from enemy spies? No worries!
One cup of instant unsweetened, unflavoured oats (true Asian spies don’t need flavour), half a cup of milk microwave for one minute and stir. A quick healthy breakfast. If you need a little extra, chop some banana and /or strawberries and add it to the mix.
(for a truly Asian spy experience, substitute oats with rice and milk with water and chicken stock, boil at your Aunty’s house overnight and enjoy with broiled chicken feet and chilli. Drink tea and play mahjhong all day)

What about your enemy spies? If you were a true Creepyasianspy you would be chasing them with your comically large nunchukus.

Good luck grasshoppers. Always give the best price.

Howdy doody,

The one and only. Rayban Wayfarers. Can make you blend in and look awesome. More awesome than fried rice and soy SAWSE!

Stay awesome Grasshoppers.

If you need to, take a rest from exercise today.
(or pirate a movie and distribute the files to your uncle’s factory in Shanghai to make millions of dosh)

Goodluck grasshoppers. Don’t get soggy.

Welcome Grasshoppers,

So you wish to do a back flip? Well first you must have patience. You must develop strength in your whole body. Here is the way we create strength all over.

What you need:
A barbell with a weight that you are comfortable with using throughout the whole workout.
OR
bag full of heavy things.

What to do:
(as always instructions in brackets are optional, but will enhance your asianess and spy-cool)
6x Deadlift
Squat in front of your barbell or weight. Grab bar or bag and stand up keeping your back straight.
(Snap bar in two and begin eating your noodles with your delightful new oversized chopsticks)

6x Power clean
Squat in front of the bar or bag. Keep your back straight, push your legs with lots of force and shrug your shoulders. Force your elbows forward and let the bar sit on top of your hands.
(throw bar into the air, wait for it to fall in front of you. Before it hits the ground, kick bar/bag into the wall in front of you. There will be a wall for dramatic effect. Don’t question this fact)

6x Overhead squat
Lift weight over your head. Squat down.
(do this whilst calculating pi to 27 decimal places to make your parents proud)

Good luck grass hoppers. Remember only true #creepyasianspies can accomplish the instructions in the brackets. Stay shaky.

Fireman workout. Instructions in brackets are optional. But only a true Creepyasianspy can accomplish these feats of spydom.

What you’ll need:
A duffle bag full of heavy things.

What to do:
BAG CARRY AND RUN
Deadlift bag and place on shoulder. Tense your abs to protect your spine. Use your legs more than your back. Run 10 metres. Lunge down to place bag on floor. (blow out fire with your amazing lungs optional)
BAG PUSH PRESS
Deadlift bag and push above your head. (throw bag into air slice in half with your large sword)
SQUAT JUMP
Squat down and jump upwards. (back flip high kick optional)
DEADLIFT HIGHPULL
Deadlift and pull bag up to the shoulder. (cartwheel whilst deadlifting)
SKIPPING
Skip 25 times in 20 seconds (skip 10000000 times in 20 seconds)

Good luck grass hoppers. Stay crunchy.

To be a true creepyasianspy you need to be fit. Do this workout 3 times a week and it will help.

5 push ups

5 sit ups

5 jump squats

On the minute, every minute for 20 minutes.

It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s a start.

Good luck Grass Hopper. May the sauce be with you.

Ah hoy hoy!

I’ve made a few changes. Drastic changes. This blog is being modified for purposes of Asian training. You will now be trained in the art of:

Spy Spots - locations of places to hang out and spy.

Spy Gear - How to dress for every occasion and be awesome.

Gnarly Ninja skills - How to be fit enough to be more Kung Fu.

Tunes - Music is very important…I’ll leave it at that.

Enjoy! Now do a 1000 push ups!

How are you amazingly attractive people?

A client asked me today how to stop cravings for chocolate. I have just the tip.

Try putting a small piece of 75% cocoa (or higher) dark chocolate under your tongue. Let it melt without sucking or chewing it. Take your time. Around 2-3 minutes. It should help stop your cravings without destroying your amazing physique.

Give it a go!

What’s up big dogs, or as a formal statement, What are your current state of affairs gargantuan canines?

A lot of my clients have been really good with their exercise, They’ve been training really hard at my sessions and also doing the homework that I’ve set them. They’ve also been trying to eat really healthily, but sometimes they’re not quite sure what to eat.

That’s no biggie! I’m here to help! I’ve got this great acronym that will help you remember what foods to emphasise in your diet.

It comes from a really great book called: The Abs Diet

Don’t be scared off the title. When it says diet, it doesn’t really mean a diet. Diet implies a starting date eating really boring foods and then finishing 4-12 weeks later. This is different. It’s a lifestyle change, but only really minor lifestyle changes. You can still eat many great tasting foods, just tweaked a little to make them healthier, but just as tasty! Anyways here is the acronym:

ABS DIET POWER 12.

12 letters, each letter stands for a type of food.

A - Almonds and other nuts
B - Beans, pulses and legumes
S - Spinach and other vegetables

D - Dairy: Milk, yoghurt, cheese (Low fat AND low sugar or plain full cream)
I - Instant hot oat cereal (Unsweetened and unflavoured: add berries and honey to taste)
E - Eggs (Because they are awesome AND amazing)
T - Turkey and other leans meats (Chicken, lean beef, pork, kangaroo)

P - Peanut Butter (Organic and low sugar)
O - Olive Oil
W - Wholegrain Breads, Grains (Think brown: brown rice, brown pasta, etc)
E - Extra Protein like Whey powder, Pea protein, Soy protein
R - Raspberries, others berries and fruit (Because we don’t eat enough)

Eat 6 times a day - 3 large meals and 3 light meals or snacks.

Emphasise - Protein, fibre, monounsaturated, polyunsaturated fats, calcium

Limit - High-Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar (Sugar has been a bad boy), Refined Carbs (think white), Saturated fats and Trans Fats.

Alcohol - Limit to 2 drinks per week

Cheating - One meal per week (If you’re really trying to lose weight) two meals (if you’re maintaining) eat whatever you want! Seriously, order that pizza and beer and just enjoy the hell out of it!

Ultimate power food: Smoothies. Combine oats, whey, fruit, peanut butter, yoghurt, milk, calcium and you’ve got one hell of a nutritious food source that’s quick and easy.

Ok Information explosion! My bad guys and girls. My bad. Enjoy your new eating habits and I’ll catch you ridiculously good looking people later!

Reference:

Zinczenko, D. (2004). The abs diet. Rodale Inc: London.

What’s happening hot stuffs?

Sorry I’ve been away but guess what’s the hip haps? I’m a fully qualified master personal trainer! Also, I’ve started my own personal training business in the CBD of Brisbane. The studio I work out of is Momentum Fitness. You’ll be hearing a lot more from me over the coming weeks and months so get ready for it!

See you round the carousel!

“What worries you masters you”

Howdy howdy peeps!

Sorry it’s been so long. I’m going to be straight with you guys and ladies. I forgot I had a Tumblr. I know, I know, my bad big time. So I’ll apologise. Sorry friends. Sincerely.

Anyway, on to today’s topic - Sugar.

Let’s get this straight. Sugar is bad for you. I used to believe that eating too much makes you fat. But now I truly believe it is sugar that is the primary cause of fat and weight gain and other nasties.

According to the law of thermodynamics, if you eat more than the amount of energy than expend you’ll store it as fat and vice-versa. BUT, that only applies if every calorie or kilojoule you eat is used by the body in the same way. The body doesn’t use every calorie you eat in the same way.

I’m going to get a bit technical here. So bear with me a little.

Today, people are heavier than they have been in history. BUT people are eating less fat as a population. If foods have less fat, they generally have less taste. So food companies improve the taste by adding sugar and specifically HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup - found in a lot of lollies, sweets even low fat dairy products and juice). So in turn Heart disease and liver disease has gone up, especially in younger generations.

I can hear people asking why does sugar make you fat. There’s no fat in sugar. You’re right. There is no fat in sugar BUT sugar does turn into fat. I’ll elaborate.

Table Sugar= Sucrose.  Glucose+Fructose=Sucrose.

HFCS(High Fructose Corn Syrup)= Glucose+Fructose.

A lot of companies talk about High Fructose Corn Syrup as no different from table sugar. They are not lying to you. But the problem is not to do with what we’re eating. It is the quantity. We’re just eating way too much of the stuff. It’s everywhere.

People also say that Fructose can’t be that bad. Fructose is fruit sugar. They’re absolutely right. But again the problem is quantity.

From fruits and vegetables and other natural sources you get about 15g/day. Today’s adolescences get about 73g/day! That’s about 12% of your total energy intake from just sugar and that’s almost 5 times the amount from natural sources!

Anyway back to my other point. If a calorie is just a calorie (or kilojoule is just a kilojoule) then we have to expect that they work the same way in the body. They don’t.

If you have 120 calories of glucose. 80% (96 calories) is used up by organs, muscles, cells and the body to keep you alive. the other 20% (24 calories) is stored in the liver. (By the by 120 calories is roughly 2 slices of white bread). Anyway I digress. The 24 calories that goes to the liver, some of it is turned into Glycogen which is stored energy. The rest of it (I am going to really simplify this) gets turned into bad cholesterol (VLDL.) These cause all sorts of problems like heart disease and fatty liver disease. But anyway from the initial 120 calories of glucose, only about 0.5 calories gets turned into VLDL. Not that much and not that bad. But let’s talk about sucrose and HFCS.

If you have 120 calories of sucrose (a glass of juice and remember sucrose=glucose+fructose) you have 60 calories of glucose and 60 calories of fructose. 80% of glucose (48 calories) goes to the muscles, organs and body. 20% (12 calories go the liver. But with the 60 calories of fructose 0% goes to the body. So 60 calories of fructose goes straight to the liver! So let’s look at the total load on the liver: 12+60=72 calories. That’s about 3 times more than glucose alone! With more load on the liver, you guessed it, more VLDL produced and in turn more fat. But there’s more there’s a by product from breaking down the fructose. The by product is uric acid. This uric acid lowers nitric acid (N02) production (it helps dilate arteries) results in an increase in blood pressure (BP)! But don’t think I’m done there. There’s another side effect. Another by product is Xylulose. This increases a production of fat storing enzymes. And you guessed it again gents and ladies…that sucks cause you store more of that fat you produced.

So you can see how differently sucrose acts in the body when compared to glucose alone.

However, I’ve still got a little more to say. In the liver with fructose you get a LIPID droplet. That lipid droplet is going to make your liver more fatty (Liver disease starting to sound a little scarier). You also get a production of Free Fatty Acids (FFA) which goes to your muscles and make your muscles insulin resistant. This then makes your insulin levels stay high. Insulin is a hormone that stores fat. That really sucks. You also get an enzyme called Jnk 1. This becomes present in the liver which then makes your liver insulin resistant too. Again higher insulin = higher fat storage. Also, because there is so much insulin being produced the brain can’t register the production of Leptin which means that the body never feels full! That really, really sucks. And what does the body crave when it’s hungry? More sugar! So there begins a deadly cycle. And all that from a glass of juice! Imagine smacking a bag of starburst or even natural confectionery company jellies. That just spells the recipe for: heart disease, fatty liver disease, obesity, insulin resistance, and perpetual hunger. Now instead of sucking. That’s a terrible swear word that I don’t want to use right now but begins with the letter f.

So the main point I really want to make is a calorie is not a calorie in the body. They are different. Fructose is the devil.

Anyway if that all went over your head. I really encourage you to watch this video. It’s a long video, but it’ll really convince you that sugar is not that great. It’s called “Sugar - the bitter truth.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

Sorry for making this blog so long. I’ll leave you with this thought. Think twice before you slam that juice. Think thrice before you smack that starburst.

Toodle-doo.

A groggy but excitable hello!

I thought I’d share a positive affirmation technique with you guys and girls. I strongly believe that if you want something and have a strong positive outlook towards it you will get it. Not by some mystical power of the galactic cosmos but by your own determination and guts.

So what I’m saying is to use positive affirmation. Don’t let anything get in your way. Especially not your family and doubly especially not yourself.

The technique I use is a short little sentence/mantra that I tell myself everyday. I recite the mantra seven times, seven times per day, seven day a week for seven weeks. Also every time I say it I believe the mantra a little bit more. By the end of the seven weeks you will believe you mantra.

Your mantra probably won’t sound like:

“Oh cosmis power grant me the ability to smite, yadda, yadda yadda,”

It would most likely sound more like this:

“I have the knowledge, ability and skill to…(insert item, like run a successful personal training business)”.

Give a go. Say it front of a mirror if it helps. Try and I dare you not to change your outlook. What have you go to lose?

Toodles.

What’s happening hot stuffs?

I’m going to be completely honest here. I am tired. So I won’t post another mythbuster yet. But I am going to leave you with one of my favourite quotes. I’m not sure who it is by, but I live my life by this motto:

“There is no such thing as failure. Only feedback.”

Think about it.

Pound it…

What’s happening sports fans…jeez. What a crap pun.

Anyways, here we are again. I was hanging out at the gym the other day and I heard a bunch of guys talking about some of their ideas about weight training. One of the guys were saying that they were eating a lot of fatty foods so he could put on fat and transform it into muscle when he works out. I can see how that would sound reasonable to people who don’t have much experience or education in fitness. So I’ve decided to debunk some of these myths. I’ll write up one myth per day and explain why it is a myth.

I’ll start with this one:

Women who lift weights get big, bulky muscles.

Women don’t have the testosterone levels and HGH (human growth hormones) to have dramatic increases in muscle. Men can have dramatic increases in muscle because they have TEN (10) times the amount of testosterone levels of women. Women can have few kilograms of lean muscle gains and some Lucky women can have more gains, determined through their genetics. I say lucky because more lean muscle mass means a faster metabolism, faster fat burning and a major slow down of the ageing process.

I guess I’ll leave it a that sports fans…I should stop doing that.

Checkles.

Here’s the abridged version dudes and dudettes.

Step one: Big picture goals - your ultimate dream no matter how ridiculous.

Step two: work backwards from there to figure out step to achieving your big goal/s.

Kind of step three but really just applies to everything:

Take microsteps to doing anything if you’re really lazy. Even if it means just standing up and walking to your wardrobe to put on your gym clothes to go for a run.

That’s that for now. When I learn something new I’ll share it with you.

Ok I gotta run. Literally. Adios Amigos and girl version of amigos.

Greetings webclan!

Do you ever get the feeling that it’s too hard to exercise right now? Or even get the feeling that doing anything, whether it be work, cooking dinner or even doing the washing can be too hard? I know I did. I still do really. My old friend procrastination loves to come around and ask “What up bro? Wanna hang?” and I usually oblige. But I realised that procrastination was never really a good wingman. It was all about him and never about me. I could never move forward. So i figured I’d blog about how I’m helping my self tell procrastination “Maybe later dude.”.

The first step is that I had to realise that I was being kind of lazy and putting off my goals to bettering myself.

The next step is to create a goal. It doesn’t matter what kind of goal it is, as long as it is the big picture. E.g. I want to be “a billionaire so freakin bad” or I need to be buff or I need to finish a marathon. Once you have the big picture in mind. Always keep it in your mind. Think about it every five minutes. Fantisise about how good it would feel if you had achieved your goals. If you have no idea what your goal is, then you are like me and we can be friends…but really what I had to do was to write down every idea I had, no matter how ridiculous it was and then choose the idea that seemed the best to me.

Next work backwards from there. Think of the step before your big picture goal and keep working backwards from there until you reach your current position. This will help you create steps towards your big picture. If you have no idea what the step before is then, do a little research or even start with your current position and then decide on the next step. E.g. Your big goal is “I need to get Buff” the second step could be ‘buy gym membership’ or your second last step could be ‘eat more’.

Ok I didn’t think this post was going to be so huge! I’ll just give you peeps one more tip. I’ve talked about setting big picture goals and short term goals, but I never really typed about how to deal with everyday procrastination. So let me break it down for you. You need to break it down. Take every step into the microcosm. An example…(YAY!) “You need to do your washing. But the laundry if too far away. I haven’t got many clothes left. Friday’s outfit didn’t get very dirty. I’ll just wear that today. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Sound somewhat familiar? This was me. It still is. The way I overcame this was to really break everything this down to the smallest possible step. Once I realised I was being ridiculously lazy, I would take the smallest step possible…I would stand up. Then I would walk to the laundry basket. Then I would pick it up…then I would blah blah blah. You get the idea. I just take the smallest step possible and keep doing the smallest step possible until I actually did what I needed to do.

Ok I’ve written too much. I’d love to hang some more but I’ve got to got for a run. Check you later. (I’ll put up an abridged version of this blog later) Cheerio!